Fiction. For Now.

Taking the tablets, and i know once more I'm done;
Another day will fade away, another hope is gone.
Taking back the little pills that drive me far from home
I realise there's nothing good in my eyes, and at last i am alone.
Taking the tablets one by one, all the joy is gone.
This is not fun.

It used to be they made me free.
They used to take away the pain.
They once gave joy to this lonely boy,
But now there's nothing left to gain.

The tablets sting. My senses sing.
My hand shakes as i head for the door.
I make it halfway across the room,
Then I'm a dead weight on the floor.

I hope I'm gone, once and for all.
I hope this world's been wisked away.
I hope that was my final fall,
And that my soul will escape today.

I'm tired of this existance.
I'm tired of every pain it brings.
I'm tired of the fear in every year,
Of the worthlessness that New Year brings.

Let me escape! Let me be free!
Let me fly to the sky where i can be me!

*

And in some hours I'll wake up.
Pick up the chair i stumbled across.
I'll brave the night for one more fight,
And tell myself that I'm my boss.

I'll tell myself that I'm in charge.
That I'm living the good life. Living it large.

And then, when morning comes again,
When i lay down another empty pen,
When another day is in the sky
I'll try once more to die.

A Brief Flight of Zimmerism

My life piles up behind me,
As talking heads smooth past the present.
All the days and various ways
That brought me here now take their pay,
An threaten to obscure the day
When fortune breaks, and men will say
That evil will not pave the way
And win the day, and throw the fray -
That those who can be taught to say without delay
That they wont stray into decay,
Will not be broke, will not starve and choke
Into obscure and abstract folk-
Tals, breaking free from far away.
Those few will save me, if they may.

My life leads on before me,
Beyond controll and out of reach.
The times that will, through ill or still,
Affect me to their many will
And overflow, and purge and spill
Over the tombs, before the kill
That breaks the banks and bodes a thrill
That men will taper and distill
Orders its face to show and teach
A silence, basking from the free.
A silence meant only for me.

My life glows all around me,
Tangible yet incomplete;
A stranger who cant find his feet,
Cant walk into the darkened street,
Who fears the falling frozen sleet
Of memories he cant deleat
Will cry and fly and wonder why
His life fails, and he'll mever meet
Those few who'll take him to the sky,
Who'll purify - make him complete.

My life smiles wildly at me,
A dangerous mind on a stolen route
And all i try is by-the-by -
My life rolls on, without dispute.

Marina

Black hair surrounds a beautiful face,
And jeans hide all but a hint of lace,
Then a smile appears, and despite all the years,
I never left this perfect place.

Our fingers intertwine
With the growing green vine,
As discreet and succinct as a pairing can be.
And a balmy night seems like heaven; so bright,
That i feel that my spirit has never been so free.

Rome is abandoned, endless and ours -
Others might call this an unhappy hour -
But ive never been so happy, never been so content.
The presence of anyone else would be sour.

Through life as we travell with glowing apparell
All ease whall be ours, and all pleasure abound.
With you at my side nothing jilted will hide
Around corners that sigh at a sound.

Marina, Marina, through beauty and skill
You have wrought in me a heart thats your own.
Marina, Marina, though all life is ill
I love all your wonder; your mind is my throne.